On the back of our article on 10 Foolproof Ways to get a Date this Valentine’s Day, one of our lovely readers suggested a list of ways to get out of a date would be more useful. We’re only too happy to oblige. Ekoo, this is for you.
1. Send photos of personalised his and hers merchandise and say you’ve got both your date night outfits sorted.
2. Feign the flu.
3. Or, if you really want to shut the pairing down permanently, feign gastro. The more descriptive you are about your symptoms, the better.
4. Politely ask your date if they’d mind if your parents joined you.
5. ‘Accidentally’ send your date a text thanking them for last night, ensuring you refer to them by someone else’s name.
6. Refer to your date as “snooky-wooky-diddle-plum” in all pre-date communications. Also overuse all available love heart emojis.
7. Talk about how excited you are to welcome them into the friend zone, before sending a photo of one of your current Tinder matches and asking for their opinion.
8. Enthusiastically share photos of your 15 cats, pet tarantula or strangely-shaped Cheeto collection.
9. Inform them you’ve just discovered Game of Thrones and don’t have time for real life right now. If they suggest joining you for ‘Netflix and chill’ let them know that Daenerys/John Snow have given you unrealistic expectations that no human being will ever be able to live up to so there’s no point even trying.
10. Regretfully inform them that, after much deliberation, you’ve decided your first and last names just aren’t compatible and you can’t start something when there’s clearly no future.