We’re a wizened bunch here and with hundreds of Australia Days chalked up between us, we reckon we have things almost down pat when it comes to celebrating the right way. Because sharing is caring, we’ve put our heads together and come up with our top 10 bits of advice for you this Australia Day.
- Wear sunscreen. The only thing worse than a hangover is a sunburnt one, especially when it’s 30 degrees and you have to dress for the office.
- Speaking of, arrange leave for the 27th. This makes you a conscientious planner, unlike the 16% of your co-workers who will chuck a sickie and be labelled unreliable by the boss.
- Pluggers are the only appropriate footwear and should be tossed in competition at least once throughout the day.
- You can fix a plugger blow-out using a bread tag. Ingenious, especially as there’s bound to be plenty around on a day where sausages in bread are the staple food source.
- On that note, accept that you will eat at least six sausages during the course of the day and that at least one of these will be attacked rabidly around 6pm.
- Which is a better option than waiting for 45 minutes at your local pizza joint. Our advice? Just avoid take-away all together between the hours of 6-9pm: you’ll evade a heightened state of hangry and that sneaky little thing known as the public holiday surcharge.
- The party is never over before the end of the Hottest 100. Should you try and end things early you will be shamed until the end of days. Isn’t that right Stanley?
- Never drink straight vodka from a glass boot. This specific advice is applicable to any day of the year, but should be remembered around 4pm on the 26th. Try to stay alert in case a situation like this arises:
- Today, of all days, you should embrace Aussie slang at its finest. It’s not a sausage and a beer with your friends in the afternoon: it’s a snag and a stubbie in the arvo with ya mates. And it’s bloody awesome.